Oh, the magic of Myspace.  They make up for their archaic web design with their kick-ass ability to connect people with bands they would otherwise have no knowledge of. Of which they would otherwise have no knowledge. Whatever.

I recently received a friend request from  Allegories, a little band from Burlington, Ontario, followed by this message:

Again Vanderbottom, Again!

The first to receive an invitation was Murtle Mcgluer.. a sticky old bat, that, made hats, just for your cats, not mats but hats…
The second guest, Jesse Ronoldson.. was a retired homeless man now working in accounting, his misses the daily grind of repairing his cardboard box and yelling religions prophecies to strangers for change but his new wife and new children almost make up for that.
The third Donny Vanderbottom, goes door to door selling house ceilings for houses of all shapes. Square ones, shorts ones, tall ones, rectangular ones, circular ones, and of course different continent shaped ones like African or the new favorite. Eurasia
The fourth Dynamo Henry Blanco the sometimes starting catcher for the Minnesota twins his job is boring
The fifth Princess Samdula Imdiata, self acclaimed ruler of Atlantis. She gives motivational speeches to up and coming Tim Hortons sponsored hip hop all star team members
The sixth is only known as “The weasel” He never sleeps, never stops doing things, things that you cannot even imaging. He is of course a television personality, a reality for reality programs. His most famous work, host of the lone stayin’ aliver. A show where the point is to be the last contestant alive, on a deserted island.
The last to receive an invitation from the turtles was sexy Burtha Baloogo. She models for Biway, A runway model for Bi-Way, going to flee markets all over Canada to show off her figureless body.

Obviously, I was intrigued. There’s something I find vaguely enchanting about not knowing what the hell people are talking about. It’s like they have a really good secret that, if you try hard enough, you just might be able to understand.

It didn’t take long, in fact, to learn that Allegories does, indeed have a secret- a fantastic little secret called Surreal Auteur.

It’s just so delightfully abstract. While the tracks may have their own titles, there are no separate songs, really. The album is, more than music, an exploration of the secrets of the mind. Like that state between sleep and awake… this is music to dream to.

Surreal Auteur comes in three movements, so to speak. The first is Grand Ascension (Curtains), which sort of calls the listener out of the mundane reality of their everyday lives and into (dare I say it?) the infinite expanses of the universe. It almost feels like waking up from the deepest sleep and seeing the sunrise for the first time since the beginnings of your memory.

The second section, Marvelous Man & Mouse, brings with it a shift in tone- from exploration to achievement. The sound of this section can best be described as “triumphant.” It’s the kind of music that fills the listener up with the sheer joy of being alive. I can’t even imagine what performing it must feel like. Probably pretty effing good.

A Worthy Conclusion for Zanglust, Our Hero, the final section of this incredible album, opens with “Grass Toboggan,” a song that reminds me of driving down empty highways in the suburbs at 4AM in the summer when the sun is just thinking about coming up. It’s like the end of a very long day, or a very good movie. Perhaps if the feeling of having truly learned something could be translated into music, this is what it would sound like. A Worthy Conclusion, indeed, Allegories. Hot damn.

As you can see, I’m slightly enchanted. The smart-ass in me has gone AWOL at the moment, it seems. I highly recommend you listen to this album, gentle readers. Turn off the lights and close your eyes and listen to it. Just give it a try. I promise it won’t hurt.